The Act Of Acknowledgement

More often than not, people don’t—or won’t—acknowledge you for your contributions and accomplishments. Which may seem a little strange since almost all of us harbor hopes for such recognition—one reason, perhaps, that the expression “fishing for compliments” is so well-known. But though it might seem intuitive that people would be more than willing to give what they’d greatly appreciate getting themselves, this typically isn't the case. In one way or another, virtually everybody dreams of standing out, being admired, acclaimed—even, well, applauded. To be viewed, and to view ourselves, as merely “average” or “adequate” really doesn't do very much for us—or rather, our ego. And this may be all the more so because we live in a meritorious, American-Idol-type society that refuses to celebrate or lavish praise on individuals unless they’re judged exceptional. This circumstance explains why we may experience a certain envy when we hear drums banging for someone else. Secretly, we long to hear a drum roll beating for us.

But, and probably much more often than not, the recognition that we hope for simply isn't going to happen. So when someone fails to acknowledge you when you think what you've done deserves acknowledgment, it’s wise not to take this to heart. For various reasons, it’s crucial that when you've executed something well, demonstrated skill or talent, behaved generously or selflessly, you learn how to congratulate yourself. That way you can avoid the let-down, the frustration, discouragement, or disgruntlement—and maybe even the anger and indignation—that otherwise will likely accompany your disappointment.